Thomas Merton helps us understand the paradoxical appeal of Jesus for us to die to ourselves or “lose ourselves to find ourselves” (Mark 8:35). He did this by explaining that we all have a “False Self” we have learned to be dependent on ever since we lost our innocence; and our “True Self,” our soul, the measure of God in us that has been overshadowed by our rational, ego-driven self-identity.
Merton rightly recognized that it was not the body that had to “die” but the “false self.” Our attachment to False Self must die to allow True Self—our basic and unchangeable identity in God—to live fully and freely.
At the center of our being is a point of nothingness, which is untouched by sin and by illusion, a point of pure truth, a point or spark that belongs entirely to God, which is never at our disposal. A point from which God disposes of our lives, which is inaccessible to the fantasies of our own mind or the brutalities of our own will.
This little point of nothingness and of absolute poverty is the pure glory of God in us. It is like a pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of heaven. It is in everybody, and if we could see these billions of points of light coming together in the face and blaze of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely.
Mark 8:35-37 “If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?”
