All of us unconsciously avoid suffering, need to be in control, desire prestige, and hang on to possessions. All of these are of our fallen nature’s tendency for self-reliance and autonomy. They are, however, the exact matters of our illusory self, the life that Jesus asked us to give up. Giving them up causes suffering. Nevertheless, we must realize that the small self will not surrender without a fight to its death. When we do, we move beyond the illusion of control and yield to God and the flow of grace and truth. We voluntarily leap into the very fire from which most of us are trying to escape, with total trust that Jesus’ way of the cross could not, and would never be the wrong path. This is why we need to persevere in prayer; to find God in the center of our lives and the bitter becomes sweet. To trust in the power of God’s grace through darkness, isolation, bitterness, and rejection is to be on the way to freedom in God. For prayer, that deep relationship of God breathing in us requires change and conversion, which opens us up to the new, to the future in God. 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”
